No matter the fork you use…

Zombie Survival Guide

09 Nov 2011 Leave a Comment

by ElegantErica in Books, Movies, TV Shows Tags: I am Legend, The Walking Dead, World War Z, zombie survival guide, zombies

I’ve been thinking about the The Walking Dead frequently lately. It has been on my mind non-stop ever since HusbandMike and I (along with another couple) were leaving a restaurant talking about the show. As we were going out the door, I said (rather loudly) how I would kill “them all” with a crossbow and a sword. There was a cop right there… staring right at me.  The rest of the group backed away from me, and I just stood there and said, “Zombies… I swear… I only want to kill zombies.”

Turns out Officer Dale likes The Walking Dead too. He laughed and agreed with my choice of weapons (any serious ammunition shortage would constantly make guns useless).

This area's DoT is prepared!

Which got me to thinking… what are important zombie survival skills? Well (since you’re still here and seem interested), I’ve comprised a list.

1. I would need a crossbow for long range zombie killing. Quiet and less loss of ammunition. Would also need to learn how to use it.
2. I’m thinking a sword… for decoration and protection… though… a machete is better than a fancy sword like a katana, because most of us are not trained to use a katana and could hurt ourselves rather badly.
3. I need to learn how to decontaminate/purify water.
4. Kevlar jeans. No teeth sinking into my legs… and fashionable!
5. Also, a long sleeved Kevlar shirt to protect my chest and arms from bites… I haven’t found anything cute yet though.
6. A full head helmet. You can never be too careful.
7. Gloves.
8. Comfortable boots or shoes
9. I need to learn how to hunt (much better than I can now, I’m a terrible shot) and how forage for food.
10. Hot-wiring and lock-picking… also very important skills.
11. Medical supplies
12. A backpack
13. Flint and striker for fire and knowing how to use it as well as knowing how to build a fire.
14. An extra pair of socks… good socks… like the ones HusbandMike took to Russia (they are super warm and nice).
15. A good dog could be useful.  In World War Z, dogs were used first to detect the newly infected who hadn’t yet turned.  Later, dogs could alert their owners/handlers to hidden zombies, or be trained to lead zombies into a trap. Céilidh would need some serious training.
16. A compass (and a map). I used to have a map in my car, then I had sort of had a GPS (well… HusbandMike had one), but now I have an iPhone (there’s an app for that)… I’m pretty sure that the internet will be down and Google Maps will be unavailable after the zombies take over.
17. Computers and calculators won’t be around (except those that don’t wear out). Let’s add learning to use a slide-rule and abacus to the list.

Here is a pickle though… What about transportation?  I think with zombies roaming that you would need to keep mobile, unless you can build one big medieval wall… hopefully something awesome, like the one in I Am Legend. Anyway, I’ve been struggling with this.

• Option 1: Horse. A horse could eat grass, but could be attacked and eaten by zombies… like in the first episode of season one.
• Option 2: Car or motorcycle. These would use gas, which may be hard to find. They never seem to have too much problem with this on the show, but I’m not so sure. Plus, unless someone in your group is a mechanic then if any problems come up then there could also be an issue.
• Option 3: Bicycle. Bikes, even a rugged mountain bikes, seem impractical.  You can’t carry too much on your back, and you can only escape from zombies quickly for a while… and only if the terrain isn’t too bad.

Earlier this morning, I had another thought… that I should learn to make soap… cleanliness should be important when dealing with a zombie outbreak.  So… I googled how to make soap.  Seems you need lye… okay… so then how do you make lye… oh… by running electricity through a mixture of water and salt.  Hmm.  That’s not helpful.

However, it seems that you can also make lye from wood ash (potassium hydroxide, not sodium hydroxide)… at least that is what they did in colonial times. Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like a quick process.

Yeah… Hygiene is going to be an issue.

I am a conservative, but I am not a zombie.
~ Glenn Beck (1964 – )